22/06/2017

I'VE SAID IT BEFORE BUT I'LL SAY IT AGAIN


I think it's time to put things straight. I'm a student, a hopeful, a girlfriend, a daughter, a jobseeker, a wannabe driver, a friend, a creative and, last but apparently least, a blogger. Yes. You read it right. Blogging, over the past god-knows-how-many-months, has shimmied right down my list of priorities. But, guess what. I don't think I care.

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not going to tell you that this blog is shutting down because it definitely isn't and, right now, I'm starting a new journey in my life which is hopefully going to make blogging a bit easier for me. What I am saying is that I am not going to apologise for leaving this blog in the dark for what feels like an eternity. 

Here's why:
When I started my blog, I was a student. Admittedly, I was a secondary school girl crushing on boys, watching the soaps and 'playing out'. Now, I have just finished being a student. A-Level exams out the way (and hopefully bossed), I'm now enrolling myself on a gap year. No - I'm not going trekking around Thailand or 'finding myself' in America; I'm giving myself a break and a chance to get my feet back on the ground.

One thing that I've never really properly opened up about on my blog is my anxiety and, although I'm not completely ready to talk about it on my blog (because of fears that others will pass this a teenage cliche), I am happy to say that, this year has FINALLY seen things get a little better and doable due to my anxiety being taken care of by professionals. So, as a result of this, my gap year is like my chance to catch up. E.g. I stopped driving lessons because, mentally, I wasn't ready. Over the next year I really want to take advantage of my happier state and do things that were otherwise just impossible to me.

But what's that got to do with blogging? 
I'm not scared of blogging, it was never directly affected by my anxiety. The reason why I went so silent is because everything else got a lot more hectic in life and I had to prioritise things. Almost inevitably, my exams, family, partner, and friends had to come first. But, for me, it's not just about priorities. I generally just struggle to juggle a billion things at once. There's no way I would've walked out my exams feeling as proud and confident as I did if I had to squash revision time in between driving lessons, a job, and just living life. 

So now, instead of sitting on my arse all day, I am ready to get a job, get back to driving lessons, indulge in my passions that were once neglected. 

I've said it before, the whole "I left my blog, but I promise I'm coming back" and I'll say it again. But, this time, I want you to know that if I don't end up blogging every second of the day, that's because I'm enjoying myself. I'm taking care of my priorities, I'm enjoying the scenery, I'm indulging in the people and things that matter most. My blog has not, and will not be neglected. Expect more posts from me in the future. Expect, hopefully, more thought out posts a bit more honest to myself and my true character. Because I'm ready to start again and stop apologising for being a human being.


Speak soon,
Alice.

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