05/08/2017

MY DAILY STRUGGLE WITH GRIEF


Most people who are struggling with grief have experienced the loss of someone very close to them. I guess, in a way, I'm lucky because the grief that I experience regards the loss of someone that I've never met. But that doesn't make it any easier.

It's a Monday night and a TV show has just premiered on ITV: Diana, Our Mother. Prince Harry and Prince William say the most touching things about their mother, videos play of her legacy, and images of her and the boys. One of the things that really touched me was when Prince Harry said: 'not knowing that it was the last time I'd speak to my mum, how differently that conversation would have panned out'. Despite Diana's death being before my lifetime and not really knowing much about her, she is a wonderful woman, but it's not her that I'm grieving for.

Because, throughout the TV show my eyes continued to glance over to my mum. Every few seconds. Is she okay? 


My mum's mother died when my mum was only 17 and for my whole lifetime I've known my mum as in grief. She's strong, determined and independent but, every year, when October (the month her mother passed away) rolls around, things can sometimes feel a bit low. As a result of this, my mum and I have an extremely close relationship and we're both sensitive, meaning we often share each others emotions and can be very empathetic towards one another. This is exactly the reason why I don't go a day without thinking of my grandmother.

I may have never met her and not know much about her, but I guess that just makes it harder. As you could probably imagine, my mum doesn't speak much about her and, while part of me understands that that is just a coping method, I do wish I could learn all about her.

Grief is a sad topic. A taboo. A conversation to be avoided. No body really wants to talk about it and certainly not experience it. But I think that there is one really important message that has came out of my grief: You must respect those closest to you. 
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a strong believer in showing respect for your mother. While other people may have valid reasons to think otherwise, it is a big part of my life. I've seen people my own age talk bad of their mothers, either behind their backs or to their face and each time it hurts me so much. 'We're so lucky to have our mothers. You don't understand how lucky' I think. 

I'm 100% certain that, if my mum could turn back time and keep her mother with us, she would in a heartbeat because her life has been so affected by that loss. And, as Prince Harry said, you don't realise how little time you get until it's over. 
So whether you have a close friend, uncle, mother or father, don't waste time being angry, distant or reserved from one another - it does sound brutal, but we never know what is going to happen and when. So we have to make that difference now.

Make memories. Please. Because I was never able to make memories with my grandmother, and that is something that hurts me every day.


16 COMMENTS:

  1. Oh this was so beautiful to read. I commend you for how honest this post is! So brave xxx

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    1. Thank you so much - it means the world to me x

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  2. This is truly touching, Alice, and it really made me think and reflect about my own mother; thank you, thank you, thank you. Xxx

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    1. I am so glad this has had a positive effect - thank you for your kind words x

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  3. I watched the documentary with Harry aswell, and I remember talking to my family about the whole documentary. I found it really sad. I lost my nans when I was really young and I went through a lot of grief and even still grieve today! thanks for sharing this

    Sophia xo // sophiaaaxo.com

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    1. I'm so glad that this has had a positive effect on everyone and yourself. I thought it was a topic that was barely shared online but definitely needed sharing x

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  4. That read was so beautiful and raw, thank you for writing Alice๐Ÿ’ž๐ŸŒธ
    Casey http://casestreetx.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thank you, I'm am so glad you apprieciated it ๐Ÿ˜ŒX

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  5. Ah Alice this post resonates with me ever so much! I'm incredibly close to my mum and even more so after my Nannan passed away a few years ago as my mum was incredibly close to her mum. It makes me so sad when people talk bad of their mothers because for me, there really isn't any greater person in the world. You summed this up perfectly in your blog post xx

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    1. Thank you so much - I'm so grateful that you show respect for your mum, it's so important to me x

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  6. Aw this was such a beautiful read, thank you so much for sharing such a personal bit of your life. My mother's mom died at around the same age, and she always talks about it with such sadness, I really do feel for her. I'm so lucky to have had my mother around and I appreciate it so much because of this. Grief is a taboo topic but I think we should me more open about it like you've been in this post. Wishing you all the best xx

    Sending light & love your way,
    My Lovelier Days

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    1. I think it should be opened up about more because a loss will happen to everyone in their life but, for some reason, we have to suffer it alone. I feel there's no real cure for grief, but a problem shared can be a problem halved :) x

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  7. one quote i read years ago that's always stuck by me is this - 'love your parents. we're so busy growing up we often forget they're also growing old'. it really struck a chord with me ad since then i've really, really made an effort to cherish all the time i have with my parents because it won't be forever.

    i'm completely the same as you too, i treat my mum with so much respect and we're crazy close - she's such an amazing woman! grief is really hard to deal with but it's so lovely that you're there for your mum when she's struggling, your relatioship is so precious, girl ♥

    katie xx lacoconoire.com

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing that with me <3 I'm so grateful for the respect that you're giving to your family and thankful that you appreciated this post x

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  8. This is such a wonderful topic. (Hah blog post I mean) Grief is not wonderful by means but it teaches us good lessons. I think that moms are so important but so many young kids don't understand that! Way to go for sharing your thoughts

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    1. Thank you so much - I'm so happy that you feel the same x

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